Demon at my Door
Kerry B.

(sincerely dedicated to A.S.
17th July 2004 LGS in BGH)
Thanks for inspiring me and telling me I am beautiful
Even if it was in-role, it built me up :-)

The Warrior Queen
Ever returning beautiful danger
Now I am an incarnation
Seeking for honour and adventure
On this new journey of life

Trying to get up
Walking not crawling
Failing -
Hating myself
Knowing I have to carry on

Look at my flesh
There's no lie on my body
Unspoiled and fresh
Can't let it go
Oh no

Others envy me
They don't know what it is like
Being his own slave
Not sure whether to do or to decline
To feel embarrassed and small

Standing against the wall
Waiting for the end
Or the beginning
Emptiness succumbs me
Shadows rape me and won't let me go

There's a demon at my door
A tempting smile behind dark glass
I want to open the door
Better today than tomorrow

But sanity holds me back
It drags me back into bed
Covers me with roses and dahlia's
Sings me a lullaby about the end of time

I want to feel and suffer
Let me tear down the door
Desire is too strong
But insanity is wrong
I can't fall asleep

There's a demon at my door
He's the oppossite of everything I know
I'm innocent and pure
He's waiting

How long will he be waiting there
Does he seek forgiveness
Is he attracted by me or does he want to destroy me
Spoil my soul and body

Or could I give him my purity
Would he want it
I'm only a moonchild
Pale and so far down

There's a demon at my door
I can see his fingers cover the handle
He wants to get in but it's locked
Only I am to decide if he enters...

Sanity wants me to sleep
Instead I start to weep
I am too weak to get up
But too strong to stay in bed
So I fall out of bed and crawl...

I want to reach the door
Just before the night is over
And my beautiful demon turns away
Leaves me all alone once more

I want it so badly
Salvation is only a few steps away
But I can't walk
Lying on the floor looking into his eyes...

He's the dark son of night
The stepbrother of undying light
Ever returning and immortal
I can't let him wait...

He has to feel my heat
If I won't open
I'm drowning in my own sanity
My room will be flooded
and I am going to die...

There's a demon at my door
He looks into my eyes
Soothing words charm me
Sanity grabs me at my arms
It drags me back

I shake and cry
It won't let go
But I hold the key in my hand
Sanity won't get the key to my room

There's a demon at my door
He watches the fight
There is nothing he could do
I have all the might
I hold the key to my heart...

Give me deliverance from sanity
I don't want to live in chains any longer
The grip losens and I fall on the floor
Some rays of light touch my face

My demon fades away
Smoke covers him and his last smile burns my mind
He is gone....
but tomorrow night I'll try again....